"Repent and Be Born Again"
I grew up in the church and always attended. The reason: my parents were very active. My dad served as a Seventy under church appointment. Every part of my life revolved around church activities.
Jill, who was also active in the church, and I married when I was 21. While waiting for her to dress for a prayer service that fall, I continued reading through the Book of Mormon again. I was in Alma and read, “All are hardened; yea, all are fallen, and are lost, and must perish except it be through the atonement which it is expedient should be made; for it is expedient that there should be a great and last sacrifice; yea, not a sacrifice of man, neither of beast, neither of any manner of fowl; for it shall not be a human sacrifice: but it must be an infinite and eternal sacrifice. Now there is not any man that can sacrifice his own blood, which will atone for the sins of another” (Alma 16:209-211).
I knew from church that I was a sinner. “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Rom 3:20), but I considered that a description of people in general, a human characteristic that all people possessed. I considered myself basically good, although I knew that I was mischievous. I ignored the conflict between my need for a Savior and my belief that I was good enough, but I accepted it as part of our belief system. Those verses shattered my dissonant thinking when I read them. My mind linked the first phrase with the last. “All are hardened; yea, all are fallen, and are lost, and must perish” became the preface to, “There is not any man that can sacrifice his own blood, which will atone for the sins of another.” I thought about who might die for me. It began as a hypothetical question because I did not fully realize then that I needed any savior. My mind raced through everyone I knew, but the only person who might volunteer was my mother. She was truly sacrificial and loving, but if she could die for another, I was quite sure she would rather die for my sister or even my younger brother.
When I failed to think of even one, I panicked. Did I really have to die? Would people say, when they saw me dying, “He deserved it,” or would they barely notice and get on with their lives? All of a sudden, I felt alone and condemned, really condemned! Fear, sorrow, and loneliness beset me. I knew I was guilty as if my deepest secrets had just been exposed. With no defense and no one to help me, I wanted to hide, but darkness overcame me before I could quickly look for a place, as if one really existed. Regret and despair consumed my mind. Hope, happiness, and contentment all fled. I was falling into a pit filled with endless anguish, misery, and pain.
I do not remember calling out for help, but when I felt almost overcome, Jesus showed up. He entered my bleak and condemned state, bringing the sweetest relief and a burst of light. I knew who He was as soon as He came into my mind, and when He did, all the bitterness, despair, and anguish fled. The guilt, utter misery, and the oppressive darkness left. Joy and gratitude replaced them. I had been saved. Alma, the son of Alma, described his similar but more profound experience: “Now as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart, O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who art in the gall of bitterness, and art encircled about by the everlasting chains of death. And now behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains nor more; yea, I was harrowed by the memory of my sins no more. And O, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain” (Alma 17:16-18).
I call this life-changing event my born-again experience. It was life-changing because I was different. More than different, I was transformed. I was reborn. What does born again mean? Jesus told Nicodemus, “I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3). The literal translation of “born again” from the Greek text, which is γινομαι ανωθεν, which in Roman letters is ginomai anothen, is born from the top, or born from above. Jesus clarified what He meant when He added, “Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God” (John 3:5). Born again means being born of the Spirit, the Holy Ghost, which comes from above. When John baptized Jesus, “The heavens were opened unto him [John the Baptist], and he [John the Baptist] saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him [Jesus]: and lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matt 3:16-17). I was born again when the Holy Ghost rested on me while I was reading Alma’s sermon. He lifted the grace that protects all people in this life as they choose how to respond to the gospel of salvation and let me feel the just judgment that I deserve. After giving me that glimpse of eternal damnation, He restored the grace Jesus gives through His atoning death, and I felt His mercy and salvation. All that experience came from above through the Holy Ghost and forever changed me.
I have met other people who were born by the Spirit. My experience made me sensitive to those who had
a similar rebirth. At first, they were all church members or people who were afterward baptized, except
one who was a spouse of a member. The Internet provided an opportunity to hear similar testimonies from
many people. Each is unique. Some were quite dramatic, and others simple and ordinary, but they were all
profound. Each person received the personal testimony from the Holy Ghost that Jesus died for them.
Their testimony was not the assurance that an abstract theological premise is correct but a personal
testimony from above that Jesus died for them, and His death saved them. Paul’s dramatic born-again
experience on the road to Damascus was personal. Jesus said to him,
Just as Jesus noted when He spoke to Nicodemus, once a person is born again, he can see the kingdom of God. When he sees it, he longs to be there. Alma responded to his experience that way: “Methought I saw even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there” (Alma 17:20).
Our message this month is, Be born again. After Alma was born again, he said, “Preach unto all, both old and young, both bond and free; yea, I say unto you, the aged, and also the middle aged, and the rising generation; yea, to cry unto them that they must repent and be born again” (Alma 3:86). May each of us receive from above the personal testimony, Jesus died for me, and find our lives transformed by the Holy Ghost.